Women often find it challenging to escape abusive relationships until it becomes critical, according to Shamima Ali, coordinator of the Fiji Women’s Crisis Centre. Factors such as children, financial instability, low self-esteem, and religious beliefs can significantly impact a woman’s decision to leave an abusive partner.
Ali highlighted that many women hesitate to leave because of their children. The societal pressure to maintain a family unit can be overwhelming, as women often feel the need for their children to have a father figure in their lives. Ali pointed out the immense strain on women to sustain their marriages, often overlooking the role men play in a patriarchal society.
In some instances, women’s relationships can be so controlled that they are prevented from working or pursuing education. This lack of financial independence places them in precarious situations, leaving them to contemplate, “If I leave, where will I go?” Many parents may not be equipped to support them, making it difficult for women to envision a life outside of the abusive relationship, especially with children.
Ali noted that prolonged exposure to such relationships can erode a woman’s self-esteem. Constant mistreatment can lead to feelings of worthlessness, with women often describing their experiences of being treated poorly.
Cultural and religious beliefs also contribute to the difficulty in leaving abusive relationships. Women may feel compelled to adhere to traditional views that emphasize the importance of marriage, which can trap them in unhealthy dynamics. These beliefs can result in women feeling responsible for preserving the relationship, despite the violence and control they are subjected to.
Furthermore, some women remain in these relationships because they still love their partners and desire an end to the violence rather than a complete separation. Contrary to popular belief, women often do not leave at the first sign of violence; instead, it may take years for them to walk away, typically when their safety is seriously threatened.
Ali pointed out that the presence of drug use can further complicate and worsen abusive situations, as it may increase the intensity of violence. Emerging issues like drug addiction are contributing to the rise in reported cases of violence against women and girls.