Bula Fiji! Welcome to Bula Vakasaama, a column focused on practical strategies for enhancing mental health and well-being. Today, we delve into the theme of cultivating joy and harmony within marriage, which ideally serves as a profound journey uniting two individuals in their commitment to companionship, shared values, and the pursuit of a greater purpose.
As a psychotherapist, I’ve witnessed an increase in divorces and separations that stem from marital discord. Despite the wealth of resources available—ranging from religious texts to self-help materials—issues continue to plague many relationships. This begs the question: what are we missing in our understanding of human connection and partnership?
One critical area appears to be translating concepts like love, kindness, and compassion into meaningful actions. For instance, a husband may surprise his wife by tidying up the kitchen, yet when she criticizes him for placing the bread in the “wrong” spot, he is left bewildered and discouraged. In this scenario, the husband’s good intentions go unrecognized, and instead of appreciation, he faces frustration.
Similarly, many couples struggle with the division of household responsibilities, leading to feelings of resentment and neglect. When one partner spends leisure time while the other juggles chores, a lack of teamwork can quickly erode the harmony necessary for a healthy relationship. Constant conflict and fault-finding only add to the strain, replacing affection with animosity.
To counter these challenges, it’s essential to embody love, respect, and kindness through our actions. Genuine communication, characterized by eye contact, active listening, and full engagement, lays the groundwork for a supportive partnership. Couples should prioritize setting aside distractions when discussing important topics, as this promotes connection over competition.
Asking questions that reflect your partner’s values can also strengthen your bond. Understanding what matters most to each other fosters empathy and respect. For example, acknowledging and validating your spouse’s fears and feelings can create a safe environment for open dialogue and collaboration.
Additionally, it’s vital to avoid revisiting past grievances during current discussions and instead focus on the matter at hand. Expressing gratitude regularly and celebrating each other’s strengths can cultivate a more positive and harmonious atmosphere.
Creating dedicated time together, whether over tea, coffee, or a favorite beverage, can rekindle the joy of simply being present with one another. Such moments of connection are invaluable to reinforcing love and companionship.
In summary, fostering harmony in marriage involves intentionally embodying values of kindness and respect through tangible actions. By committing to these practices, couples can turn their relationships into effective partnerships that thrive on love and understanding.
Let us look forward to stronger, more fulfilling partnerships as we better understand the essence of love and connection.
Princess R. Lakshman, a passionate advocate for mental wellness and kindness, continues to explore these themes as a counselor, clinical nutritionist, and certified life coach based in Sydney. You can reach her at info@princesslakshman.com for more insights and support.
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