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Illustration of Bula Vakasama | Harmony in marriage

Unlocking Joy: The Secrets to a Harmonious Marriage

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Bula Fiji! Welcome to Bula Vakasaama, a dedicated column focused on sharing practical strategies for enhancing mental health and wellness.

In today’s discussion, we will explore the themes of joy and harmony within marriage. A successful marriage is often viewed as a profound journey where two individuals unite in shared values, aiming to fulfill a greater purpose through their deep connection. This companionship flourishes with intentional acts of positivity, kind words, and thoughtful deeds.

As a psychotherapist, I have noticed an alarming increase in divorces and separations, often stemming from marital discord. Despite the plethora of religious teachings, self-help resources, and media that emphasize the importance of love, kindness, and compassion, many couples continue to struggle with their relationships.

So, what elements of human connection and companionship are we overlooking? One possible issue is that we frequently use terms like love and compassion without fully understanding how to express them in our actions.

Consider the following scenarios that highlight the disconnect between intention and practice:

In one instance, a husband surprises his wife by cleaning the kitchen, yet she reacts negatively when she notices the bread loaf misplaced, responding with sarcasm rather than gratitude. This leaves the husband feeling disheartened and less inclined to assist in the future.

In another example, a husband relaxes in front of the television while his wife manages household chores after a long workday, inadvertently placing all the responsibilities upon her while their children entertain themselves.

Additionally, couples may fall into patterns of incessant bickering and fault-finding, which erodes their connection and sense of respect for one another.

These instances demonstrate what love, kindness, and respect do not look like, emphasizing the need for action over empty words.

So, how can couples translate these essential values into their daily lives? It starts with the way they communicate—making eye contact signifies commitment, while active listening creates a safe space for each partner to express themselves without interruption.

Mutual respect also plays a critical role. Regularly expressing gratitude for one another’s efforts fosters positivity. Understand what your spouse values most, speak respectfully about individuals who are important to them, and avoid resurrecting past grievances during new discussions.

Structuring regular quality time together—whether it be over tea, coffee, or wholesome discussions—can reignite the joy of companionship and strengthen connection.

The journey to a harmonious marriage is ongoing and requires dedication from both partners. By consciously practicing love and understanding in tangible ways, couples can create a thriving relationship.

In conclusion, while challenges may appear daunting, the potential for a joyful and harmonious marriage is very much attainable. It is important to remember that small, consistent changes can bring about significant improvements in relational dynamics, leading to a stronger partnership built on mutual respect and love.


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