Bula Fiji! Welcome to Bula Vakasaama, a column focused on sharing effective strategies for enhancing mental health and overall well-being.
Today’s discussion centers on fostering joy and harmony within marriage. Ideally, marriage should be a fulfilling journey where two individuals unite in shared values, working towards a greater purpose through genuine companionship. This requires a daily commitment to nurturing positive thoughts, words, and actions.
As a psychotherapist, I have noticed a significant increase in divorces and separations arising from marital discord. Despite the abundance of religious teachings, self-help resources, and various media that promote love, compassion, and kindness, many couples still struggle with deep-rooted issues.
So, what might be amiss in our understanding of true connection and companionship? Are we perhaps using words like love and kindness without embodying their true meanings in our actions?
Consider the following scenarios:
One woman chastises her husband after he cleans the kitchen, not thanking him for his effort but instead criticizing his choice of where to place the bread. This negative reaction leaves him feeling confused and discouraged from helping in the future.
In another case, a husband ignores household duties, choosing instead to relax on the couch while his wife manages both chores and childcare responsibilities. This can foster resentment and a lack of teamwork in their marriage.
In yet another situation, couples might find themselves caught in a cycle of blame, constant arguments, and passive-aggressive behavior, which erodes the fabric of their relationship.
These examples illustrate what love, compassion, respect, and kindness are not.
Actions reveal true intentions. So, what do love and kindness look like when expressed authentically?
They are demonstrated in the way you communicate—through your tone, gaze, and affectionate gestures. Genuine listening, where one partners fully engage without interruption, is crucial. It’s important to give each other undivided attention and prioritize the marital relationship above all else.
Engaging in meaningful conversations about each other’s priorities and fears further strengthens emotional connections. Furthermore, respecting each other’s sentiments and avoiding the temptation to dredge up past disagreements fosters a healthier dialogue.
Regular expressions of gratitude and acknowledging each other’s strengths can transform the atmosphere of a marriage. Focusing on good qualities and celebrating the partnership, such as designating a special time for shared interests, can revive the joyful connection between spouses.
In conclusion, nurturing harmony in marriage involves active, conscious efforts to embody love and respect in practical ways. By prioritizing positive interactions and open communication, couples can build a resilient, joyful partnership.
Princess R. Lakshman, a counselor and life coach based in Sydney, emphasizes the importance of kindness and self-care in relationships. Her insights remind us that with intention, we can cultivate meaningful connections.
This knowledge serves as a hopeful reminder that while many challenges exist, there are practical solutions that can lead to happier marriages, ultimately fostering deeper emotional ties and understanding.
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