Women often find it challenging to exit abusive relationships until it becomes too late, according to Shamima Ali, coordinator of the Fiji Women’s Crisis Centre. Various factors influence a woman’s decision to remain in an abusive situation, including children, financial dependency, low self-esteem, and cultural or religious beliefs.
Ali emphasized that having children complicates the decision to leave. Many women feel societal pressure to maintain the family unit, thinking that children need a father figure and that their responsibilities lie in keeping the marriage intact. This societal pressure often overlooks the role that men play in a patriarchal society.
Relationships can be so controlling that men restrict women’s access to employment or education, leaving them in vulnerable positions. If a woman decides to leave, she may question where she would go, especially if her family isn’t in a position to support her.
Moreover, prolonged exposure to abusive environments can diminish a woman’s self-worth, making her feel trapped and helpless. Ali indicated that many women report feelings of being treated poorly, which erodes their self-esteem over time.
Cultural and religious values also play a significant role, as many women internalize the belief that marriage is their ultimate goal. They are conditioned to think they should endure and try to save their marriage, often ignoring the violence and control in their relationships.
Some women may still have affection for their partners, hoping that the abuse will cease without necessarily wanting to end the marriage. Contrary to common perceptions, women typically do not leave at the first signs of violence; rather, they may stay for an extended period, often until their safety is severely compromised or when their children reach adulthood.
Ali highlighted that the involvement of drugs in relationships further complicates the situation, intensifying the existing violence. With husbands engaging in drug use, the challenges for these women are compounded, creating new issues that contribute to the rise in violence against women and girls.