Women often find it challenging to leave abusive relationships until it is too late, according to Shamima Ali, coordinator of the Fiji Women’s Crisis Centre. Factors such as children, financial stability, low self-esteem, and cultural beliefs play a significant role in a woman’s decision to remain in an abusive situation.
Ali emphasized that the presence of children complicates matters, as many women feel that their children need a father and that society expects them to maintain the family. “Women face immense pressure to keep a marriage intact,” she noted.
In some instances, women are controlled so severely that they are prevented from working or furthering their education. This lack of independence can leave them feeling vulnerable and desperate, as they may question where to go if they decide to leave the relationship.
An important aspect of this struggle is the erosion of self-esteem that many women experience over time. Ali explained that abusive partners often treat women poorly, leading them to feel diminished and powerless.
Cultural and religious beliefs also contribute to the difficulty of leaving abusive relationships. Many women are taught from a young age that their ultimate goal is marriage, which can result in a strong aversion to the idea of separation, even in the face of violence.
Ali highlighted that a desire to preserve the marriage often drives women to endure abuse; they typically seek to stop the violence rather than end the relationship. Contrary to common assumptions, many women do not leave after the first incident of abuse but instead wait until their safety is at serious risk or their children are older.
The issue is further complicated by the involvement of drugs, which can exacerbate already violent relationships. Ali pointed out that when drugs are introduced into the mix, the situation for many women deteriorates even further.
These factors contribute to an alarming increase in violence against women and girls, underscoring the complex and multifaceted nature of such relationships.