Women often find it challenging to exit abusive relationships, often waiting until circumstances become dire, according to Shamima Ali, coordinator of the Fiji Women’s Crisis Centre. Factors contributing to this struggle include children, financial dependency, low self-esteem, and societal or religious pressures.
Ali emphasized that the presence of children complicates the decision to leave. Many women feel societal expectations weigh heavily on them: “Children need a father; what will society say?” This pressure can lead them to stay in unhealthy relationships in hopes of maintaining family stability.
Control in relationships also poses significant barriers. Many men restrict their partners from working or pursuing education, leaving women financially vulnerable and unsure of how to support themselves if they leave. “If she leaves, where will she go?” Ali stated, noting that many parents may not be in a position to provide support.
Self-esteem plays a critical role as well. Over time, abusive dynamics can erode a woman’s confidence, leading her to feel devalued or insignificant in the relationship. Ali noted, “She loses all of that because he takes that away from her,” likening the experience to being treated like a doormat.
Cultural beliefs surrounding marriage also impact women’s decisions. Many women grow up believing that their worth is tied to having a partner, with traditional views emphasizing the importance of marriage. Ali remarked that this belief is continuously reinforced throughout generations, causing women to feel obligated to save their marriages despite the underlying violence.
Additionally, Ali pointed out that many women still love their partners and wish for the violence to cease, rather than seeking separation. Leaving an abusive relationship is often a prolonged decision for these women, occurring after years of enduring turmoil.
The issue is further complicated by the involvement of drugs, which can intensify violence and control within relationships. Ali noted that emerging issues, including substance abuse, contribute to rising incidents of violence against women and girls.
Overall, Ali highlighted the multitude of reasons that delay women from leaving abusive situations, often until it is too late.