Women often find it challenging to leave abusive relationships until it is too late, according to Shamima Ali, the coordinator of the Fiji Women’s Crisis Centre. Various factors influence a woman’s decision to stay in such relationships, including the presence of children, financial dependence, low self-esteem, and cultural or religious beliefs.
Ali pointed out that many women feel compelled to maintain their marriages for the sake of their children, fearing societal judgment and believing that children need a father figure. This societal pressure makes it difficult for women to prioritize their own well-being and safety over the relationship.
In some cases, men exert control by preventing women from working or continuing their education, leaving them in vulnerable situations. Ali noted that without financial independence, women struggle to envision a future outside of the relationship, especially if they lack supportive family members.
The impact on a woman’s self-esteem is significant, as years of emotional abuse can lead to a diminished sense of self-worth. Women often feel belittled and lack the confidence to seek help or leave the abusive environment.
Culturally, many women are raised with the belief that marriage is essential, leading them to feel obligated to preserve their relationships despite the violence they may endure. Ali emphasized that the generational messages about the sanctity of marriage can hinder women’s ability to recognize and escape abusive dynamics.
Additionally, some women remain in these relationships due to love for their partners, hoping to end the violence rather than the marriage itself. Contrary to common misconceptions, women typically do not leave immediately after experiencing abuse; instead, they often wait until their safety or the safety of their children is at serious risk.
The issue is further complicated by the involvement of drugs, which can exacerbate existing violence within relationships. Ali highlighted that the presence of substance abuse can contribute to an increase in violence against women and girls, creating a cycle that is difficult to break.
Overall, Ali’s insights shed light on the complex reasons women find it challenging to leave abusive situations and the societal structures that perpetuate these relationships.