Mere Tikoduadua is a determined fighter. Despite contending with stage 4 breast cancer that has metastasized to her spine and other areas of her body, she refuses to surrender. Hope has become her ally, as without it, there is little reason to press on.
The woman from Burerua, Tailevu, was first diagnosed with cancer in May 2020, marking the beginning of a profound journey of self-discovery and soul-searching. “I am currently in my healing space. I spent eight consecutive months in the hospital last year fighting stage 4 breast cancer and paraplegia,” she shared. “I’ve dedicated my life to not just finding my healing, but also advocating on navigating life after a difficult diagnosis, specifically around cancer and paraplegia.”
Mere, formerly a civil servant and community worker, was always passionate about health and fitness. Her fitness routine made her feel good and boosted her self-confidence. One day, she joined a training program with the goal of losing five kilograms. After achieving her goal, she started facing challenges when wearing sports bras without inner padding, resorting to using panty liners for cushioning. It was this improvisation that eventually led to a significant discovery.
“One day when I took it off, I noticed it was bloody. I suspected something was seriously wrong,” she recounted. The weight loss had exposed a hidden tumor in her breast. Mere had experienced something similar before, but this time it felt different. Concerned by the sight of blood, she decided to seek medical advice, eventually undergoing three check-ups before receiving her diagnosis.
Upon receiving her results, Mere contacted the Fiji Cancer Society. “The day I got my results, I messaged them and said ‘I just got diagnosed and I’m scared and I don’t know what to do’ … my mind was everywhere.” The CEO reassured her, but she still felt a deep sense of dread. Having two friends also dealing with cancer only amplified her worries. Yet, she found immense strength and support in her husband, who was there for her every step of the way.
Speaking with other women and cancer survivors, along with her faith, provided Mere with the support she needed to maintain a positive outlook. “My mum and her prayer warrior friends were a great source of spiritual support because when faced with such a diagnosis, you run to something. For me, I’m grateful I turned to the word of God.”
Two years after her lump removal surgery, doctors recommended a mastectomy to better understand the stage and spread of her cancer. Adapting to life after the surgery presented new challenges, including dealing with the emotional impact of losing a breast. “It was odd having one breast; I didn’t know how to dress,” she admitted. She resorted to wearing her husband’s shirts to accommodate the drainage pipes inserted to remove fluids, which often made her feel less feminine.
The most intense emotional moment came when, after undressing for a shower, she saw her scar and the absence of her breast in the mirror, causing her to break down in tears. Over time, she came to terms with her loss, acknowledging the deep emotional connection women often have with their breasts. “I had to learn to say goodbye to my breast. I cried like a huge part of my body was missing and then told myself, ‘You’re still beautiful, even with one breast.’”
Using a prosthesis as part of her post-mastectomy self-care, Mere’s husband continued to be her pillar of strength. His reassurances helped her deal with self-doubt and accept her reality. “One day he cupped my chest and said ‘You’re still beautiful,’ and that meant a lot to me.”
Mere only discussed her situation with close family and friends until she felt emotionally ready to understand her journey. She emphasizes that cancer patients should be given the space and time to process their situation without pressure. “Cancer is more than a physical diagnosis; it affects you emotionally and psychologically. Without support, you can really sink into depression.”
Health insurance played a crucial role in easing her mental stress regarding treatment costs. Mere hopes her story will raise awareness of the importance of medical insurance, noting how it significantly alleviated her financial burden during a difficult time.
Although she chose not to undergo chemotherapy due to its side effects, her challenges were far from over. During a Zumba session in 2023, a sudden back pain led to her being in a wheelchair. Initially thought to be a muscle tear, the pain became excruciating, and incorrect physiotherapy exercises worsened her condition. It wasn’t until March that she was hospitalized and found that her spine had become severely damaged due to cancer spreading there.
Despite doctors advising her to prepare her loved ones for the worst, Mere’s spirit remained unbroken. “I refused to accept that diagnosis!” she declared, maintaining a strong spirit even as her body failed.
Now embracing her experiences, Mere shares her story with the world, calling herself “Bulamarau,” meaning happy life. She encourages others not to keep their struggles a secret, urging people to seek help and talk about their difficulties. Mere practices gratitude daily, which has made a significant difference in her outlook. “Just being grateful for what you have and not letting a difficult diagnosis keep you down is essential.”
“Another thing that helped was praising God through the pain. The pain will come, but you can channel and block it out, not in denial but by turning pain into praise.”
Mere’s amazing battle for a happy life serves as an inspiration and a testament to the power of hope, strength, and unwavering faith.